Former NRL winger and Samoan international Peter Mata'utia has opened up on the mental health struggles he faced whilst playing rugby league.
Sharing his story onย Steph's Packed Lunchย a television program on a UK broadcast, Mata'utia discussed the pressure he faced playing in the NRL and what made him open up to others around him.
Before moving to the Super League in 2018, Mata'utia spent seven seasons in the NRL with the Newcastle Knights and St. George Dragons.
Originating from Bankstown, Peter grew up without a father. As the oldest of four brothers, he had to support his single mother by putting food on the table and clothes on their backs. All three of his brothers would go on to follow in his footsteps and play rugby league professionally- Chanel, Pat and Sione.
"My story starts in a broken home, from 11-years-old I didn't have a father figure around so by the time I was 18 and I started achieving some of my rugby goals, I took it pretty deep not having a father figure around," he said.
"I think I sort of tried to look for the validation of me succeeding in my goals, I should have had somebody there congratulating me like my friends had."
"Also having three younger brothers who also wanted to become rugby league players as well, I took on all that pressure of trying to become the role model that they needed and balancing that with turning 18 and being able to go away and make my own mistakes."
"I put a lot of pressure on myself that I wasn't doing what I should be doing."
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 13 11 14.
During the broadcast, Mata'utia spoke about a major incident that occurred in 2008. At the time he was 18 years of age and had successfully made it into the Newcastle Knights NYC team, along with becoming an Australian Schoolboy.
"2008 was the first year I got into the first team and to be honest it should have been the best year of my life that year, but having all that pressure and letting it build up sort of got to me in the end and I tried to commit suicide."
Mata'utia explained he kept this to himself, until 2020 when he would tell someone for the first time.
โSo about three years ago, I came out for the first time and told my teammates and just the impact and reactions I got from my own teammates, then hearing their stories too, sort of motivated me to share my story where I can."
"At the end of the day, my story could be someone's blueprint to their survival guide or to whatever they're going through. We are proof of getting through adversity and chasing whatever you want, we can make it, everyone can make it."
At the end of his speech, he disclosed a message to men that are currently struggling with mental health issues.
"Life has a funny way of testing out how bad it is what we want for ourselves. Adversity is adversity, it's going to happen no matter what.
"Never feel like you're alone. I firmly believe that people are either going into the storm, in the storm or just coming out and that there's always someone who is willing to listen to you."
Since coming out, Peter Mata'utia has been a global ambassador for mental health and raised awareness through his high profile. He also achieved the Spirit of Super League award last year for his charitable work off the field.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 13 11 14.
